Scott's Life in Bangkwang Prison - Thailand

Contact Visit April 2009

This year the Contact Visits are to be the Mother of all visits.  What makes it even more important this year is the news which I received just a few weeks ago, I''l be seeing my Mum, John (my Step Dad) and Seana.

In March I was told that my Mum has been fighting breast cancer for the last nine months, she's just completed her radiotherapy.  The news was kept from me for worry of how I'd take it.  To be honest I've not taken it very well.

My Mum has supported me 110% whilst at the same time fighting her own battle.  I hope that you can see just what an amazing lady and Mother she is, travelling for thirteen hours on a plane only a few weeks after finishing her treatment.  It's too early to know how the treatment has gone but Mum and I have not hugged for over two years and we both need this Contact Visit more than anything else in the world.

I'm expecting some hard days ahead.  It has been a roller coaster ride first learning of Mum's cancer then the fantastic news that her and John would be joining Seana for the Contact Visits.  I love my Mum more than anything or anyone else in this world, if I could take the cancer from her I would without a second thought, but all I can do is try and make the next two weeks as happy for her and John as I can with a smile.  I'm looking forward to seeing Seana who has been working very hard for me with the Facebook support group amangst other things.  Seana works very hard on my behalf and is 100% behind me, sometimes if I'm having a bad week she takes the brunt of it so I am hoping to do some making up to her and letting her know just how much she means to me and how grateful I am for her support, love and commitment.

I'll keep a diary so that you can share the next two weeks with me. I'll be as honest as I can be!!

Saturday 18th April

It's 5pm and I'm locked in for the night.  I'm starting to get butterflies - one more day and everyone will be here.  I keep wondering what Mum looks like after all she's been through the last nine months ... how much has it taken from her?  I'm looking forward to seeing John and Seana and I hope I can sleep easy tonight.  Just one more day!!

Sunday 19th April

It's 11pm and I'm having a restless night, the morning can't come fast enough.  I'm not expecting too much sleep, I'm hungry and keep thinking about what food I'll be getting in the morning.  I've been asking people all day if I'm looking OK for my family.  Only hours away from seeing everyone, it's like waiting for Santa when I was five years old!  God I hope Mum looks good ...

Monday 20th April - First Visit

Today was my first Contact Visit, it was also the best day I've had in over four years!

Last year the Contact Visits for us foreigners were kept apart from the Thai prisoners in a cage but this year we were all together on the football pitch in the sun with cold drinks and lots of hugs.

After everything my Mum has been through she looks amazing and when we hugged I didn't want to let her go.  She gave me some great photo's of my nephew and niece and I've had the biggest grin ever since!

We talked and hugged for about two hours, I keep talking about hugs but if you hadn't had one for a year you would miss them as well I promise you.  I can't wait until the morning if everyday is going to be like this and I'll be a very happy lad for the next two weeks :)

Tuesday 21st April

Back to normal visiting today with glass and bars between us and talking on the phone but I had a great chat with Mum.  Seana and John requested visits with Soepaing and Chandra which was great for them also.  Seana had written me a letter which she handed in - it seems I've been out of order to her these last few weeks and it's been getting her down so I've a lot of making up to do whilst she is here.  Seana works very hard for me with the support group and I've been taking it for granted, I love Seana to bits and I'm really hoping I can turn things around between us.  She is one in a million and I need to start showing her more care, love and respect.  Mum is going to be having a couple of days rest so it will just be Seana coming in to see me - here's my chance to turn things around!!

Wednesday 22nd April

Just Seana and I today.  Seana was ill after having too much sun the day before but we had a good chat and really enjoyed the visit.

Thursday 23rd April

Just Seana and I again but I was called out late so we only had thirty minutes.  Had a great talk and I can feel that we are getting back on track, this was the best thirty minutes we have had together so far.  Mum and John are coming in the morning after her two day rest, I'm looking forward to hearing all that she has been up to.  I would like to say a BIG thank you to Rachel who I have heard has been taking Mum and John out and about and looking after them - thanks Rachel this means the world to me.

Friday 24th April

Steve Willcox's case was being heard in the High Court yesterday but we have had no news today as it is continuing - as they say no news is good news!

Mum and John came in today, Seana has had a day shopping!  She did send me a letter though which made my day, this girl has so much love and care for me.

Mum and I had a great chat again and I still can't believe that this is the same woman who is fighting cancer.  I love her to bits and I was truly blessed with a great Mother.  John and I had a good chat as well, so far all of my days have been brilliant, I'm not just saying this they really have been amazing.  Mum, John and Seana have lifted me in a way that will keep me smiling until I return to England ... roll on Monday!

Saturday 25th April

Today I have just been sat thinking about the past week.  Seeing Mum looking so good and in good form is what I needed to see, the weeks leading up to her visits have been a nightmare wondering what to expect.  But she is looking OK and I can see for myself that she won't be beaten by this.  As a family we are strong and everything that comes our way is making us stronger.  John is a great bloke and if I were able to pick someone for my Mum John would be my first pick.  Seana is just full of energy and fun which at the moment we all need, she's great for my Mum and amazing for me, I do get down about a lot of things and these last few months have not been good but she's there with that great big smile and keeps telling me that this is not going to last forever - with support like this my life is so much easier.

Sunday 26th April

I'm just waiting around for the morning, Mum and John have taken a few days break and are actually seeing something of Bangkok this time, it's hard work coming to the prison everyday but it's all working out for the best and I hope that the second week will be as good as the first!  I can honestly say that we have not had one bad moment - finger crossed!!

Monday 27th April

Mum and John came today.  Mum's had a great few days rest, I still keep looking at her and keep thinking how well she looks after evrything.  We talked about my nephew and niece and being a Nan is something she is loving to bits, I'm just gutted that I'm missing out on it all.  I've not seen Mum for more than a year and since then things have not been good for her but she's changed and seems to be even stronger than she was before.  I keep saying it but she truly is an amazing woman.

Tuesday 28th April

Mum and John requested visits for Soepaing and Chandra again today and we all kept swapping the phones around so that we could all chat to each other but Chandra did not want to give up the phone when it was his turn to talk to Seana!!

Wednesday 29th April

Mum has had a rest again today.  Seana gave me some great news - she is staying for one more week, you should have seen my smile - it was as though I had won the pools.  We talked for about forty five minutes before the phones went dead, I can't think what we talked about, I was in a dream thinking about one more week with this great girl.

Thursday 30th April

Seana and John requested visits for Soepaing and Chandra again, It's been a great two weeks for them as well and good for me to be able to see them again in the visiting area.  Mum and I had the whole visit to ourselves ... only one more day.  We both agreed that it's been the best two week visit we have had in four years, maybe because I am so close to going back to England, it feels as though the first stage of this is nearly over and a weight is begining to lift from our shoulders.  It must be a big weight off Mum's shoulders - no more thirteen hour flights to see me.  Tomorrow is the last day of her visit and our last Contact Visit, we are both really looking forward to it in one way but not in another.  Tonight will be another restless night for both of us.

Friday 1st May - Final Day and Contact Visit

We were all sat around a table by 9.30am which was great as it meant that we would have at least one and a half hours together.

Mum said what a great two weeks her and John have had and with Seana being with them she has been a big help to them doing my shopping and parcelling it up and posting in for me.  They have also been able to have a bit of a holiday for once and have had time for days out with Rachel.  I know I have said it before but thank you Rachel, I'll never forget your kindness to my Mum and I speak for both me and my brother.

Seana looked great but was given a notice before entering the visiting area - no kissing :( 

I sat holding Mum's hand and told her what a truly amazing Mother, wife and Grand Mother she is.  We have had a great two weeks which I will never forget, no one cried because we were all so happy and the next time I'll see her we will be sat around a table again in an English prison.  We've nearly done the hard bit, the four years in Thailand.  Time was up and it is hard for me to find the words to describe just how I was feeling.  We all hugged and kissed goodbye, in the past this has been the worst bit - the bit we all dreaded - but today we all had big smiles and our parting words were "I'll see you in England soon".

It truly was a great day had by all but the best feeling of all was that we won't be doing it again next year as I hope to be home!!

What normally happens now is that I go on a downer after such a good two weeks but Seana staying for one more week will see me through this.  I keep saying it but I'm truly blessed with great people all around me.  Someone up there must be looking out for me!

Scott x

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