My Life Today
1st August 2008
I have now been in prison here for three and a half years, it has not been easy. For me it is not the lack of life's basics - food, clothes, sleeping on the floor, no fresh running water etc - things we take for granted that get to me, it is the fact that I am not living a life. This feels like a waste of a life. I am just plodding on for my family with the hope of being able to do something to regain my freedom and put my life to some use. For my family I try to look on the positive side ...
One of the positive things in my life at the moment is my chance of renewing a very good friendship with Seana. As I have said before I first met her when I was about eighteen but eventually lost contact as so often happens. She stumbled across me on the internet in March and came to see me - a true friend indeed. At the time of writing this I have only a few more days before I see her again - I am like a kid at Christmas!
I wrote earlier in the year letting you know about Uria and I, Uria was there for me for more than three years - during the hardest times I'd say. She has her own life now and is moving on but she still visits me which means an awful lot to me. I will never forget Uria.
Due to my prisoner status I am now allowed an occasional, very brief, phone call home. I alternate them between my Mum and brother Lee. I have now heard my nephew say my name for the first time - it was a great thing to hear - with my niece in the background. I have a lot to keep fighting for because one day the three of us are going to have some amazing days out ...
I would say that Lee and I have become a lot closer through all of this - he always speaks his mind which sometimes I need!! I have also become a hell of a lot closer to my younger brother Lloyd, this means a lot to me. He is coming to Thailand with his friends in November but I am not one hundred percent sure that I am the main attraction here for him!!
With my family's hard work a lot more people know about me and are able to keep track of my journey. It is great to hear from you all but without their hard work this wouldn't have been possible. Thanks to them I also have a Facebook profile which has been great for putting me back in touch with old friends and being able to make new ones. Whether it is a letter, e-mail or message I always reply as soon as I can but please understand that mail does sometimes go missing.
I now have six months to go and I will have served four years of my thirty year sentence. Under the terms of the Thai/UK Prisoner Transfer Treaty there is a possibility that I will be transferred back to the UK to serve the remainder of my Thai sentence. I know that I will still have a long way to go ... but a bed and hot water ... More importantly I would be able to sit in the same visiting room as my family - be able to give them a hug and see a lot more of them. In the last three and a half years I have had a total of six hours contact with loved ones - Mum, John, Lee and his family, Aunty Les & Uncle Den, Uria and Seana. After a while you need a hug - that would be the icing on the cake for me.
I am going to get to my four year mark and know that it will only have been possible because of all of the love and suport of family and friends - old and new. Thank you all. One day I will board a plane with the biggest smile ever I promise and although I will still have my sentence to serve I will be able to put this part of it behind me. I have always refused to be beaten, it doesn't matter how long they keep me, I can hold my head up knowing that I should not be serving all of this time but without the right help what choice do I have?
Thank you all again for your letters and visits and for signing my Petition and showing your support in my quest for the right help.
Love you Mum and the rest of my great family x